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July 19, 2004
Yo, ho, ho, ho
You'd be sorely mistaken to call Girl-E "conventional". Oh no, she is nothing if not "quirky," "edgy," and "alternative"... about illness. The girl has never had an affliction in her life that didn't have some element of the ridiculous. Like the mysterious welts all over her body that made her pass out in 10th grade. Or the fact that her everyday nasal allergy medication perforated her septum, requiring surgery. Or the thing where her forearms and hands inexplicably spasm and lose all feeling. So it comes as no surprise that for the past year or so, every common illness she has contracted lasts for several days longer than it should, because just as she is recovering, the nasty little bugs retreat in fear to her inner ear and give her vertigo.
On Thursday night she came down with an exasperating but perfectly common head cold. It started to clear up on Saturday, but was quickly replaced with a feeling that she is in the hold of a ship sailing the high seas. She is running into things left and right, and we fear she will soon run out of appropriate deckwear. Her dreams are dominated by iceburgs and pirate attacks. And that one where she was narrowly defeated in the America's Cup. She won't admit it, but we know that every time she wobbles into the kitchen she hopes there will be a buffet.
Anyway, right now she is good for nothing besides sleeping and deciphering morse code. So if you need her, life vests are in the compartment under the TV.
Posted by The Twins at July 19, 2004 01:06 PM
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Comments
I had the hand spasm thing happen to me once, but I couldn't help it. Bathing just makes me want toast.
Posted by: Jeff at July 19, 2004 01:24 PM
perhaps, then, you should just make the effect complete by going to the aquarium.
(hope you feel better.)
Posted by: bryan at July 19, 2004 02:35 PM
can my seat cushion be used as a floatation device?
Posted by: snowy at July 19, 2004 06:28 PM
try to avoid that welts thing this time around, ok? i hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: kate at July 19, 2004 07:25 PM