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July 13, 2004
Happy Bastille Day Eve
In case you are unsure how to properly celebrate*, this is a day on which it is generally the custom to dress inadequately for the humid rain, chew off all your fingernails, forego all cosmetics out of laziness in spite of that blemish, circle back for a second free granola bar from the Christian fellowship people standing by the subway, pillage petit fors from the lunch meeting you had nothing to do with, curse and stare at your chewed up nails which make your hands look like a five-year-old's, cancel your weekly activity in favor of staying in for chicken sausages and vodka, go out for a sandwich and come back with new underwear, and apologize constantly. Have a good one.
*And if you're very traditional, blatantly disregard split infinitives.
Posted by The Twins at July 13, 2004 03:13 PM
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Comments
Other factions argue that the only way to celebrate is to play hooky, clean the bathroom, and do Fat-Burning Yoga. I say, rather than fight, we should leave each to his own.
Posted by: Hilatron at July 13, 2004 03:36 PM
There has not been a complete split, however, as fat-burning yoga is indeed on the list of celebratory intentions for later today. But yes, we should embrace the various interpretations.
Posted by: EV at July 13, 2004 03:44 PM
I was raised to believe that the proper way to celebrate was to continue to ignore all incoming bills, wear your inappropriate black leather boots to a work meeting, forget your datebook, break your washing machine and cough all morning. But that may just be the Lithuanian tradition.
Posted by: nikita at July 14, 2004 10:42 AM
I always thought it has something to do with the French.
Posted by: Jeff at July 14, 2004 12:20 PM
where does the red wine and crusty bread + brie cheese fit into this whole plan?
Posted by: snowy at July 14, 2004 12:25 PM