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June 16, 2004
Are you worthy?
The ballots are in, the gauntlet is down. We don't know what kind of extortion or begging was involved, but it is now absolutely conclusive that Girl-E has gotten in with the cool kids. And when we say the cool kids, we mean not the kids who were necessarily cool in high school, but the kids who, ten years later, know from fucking exceptional.
Case in point:
Reverend Pete opens last night's Rock Star Karaoke with Avril Levigne's "Complicated," but sings it as only Stephen Tyler would. When he's finished, the first performer on the docket is Girl-E's most excellent buddy Dr. Claw. Dr. Claw makes her way to the stage, and we hear the opening measures to Duran Duran's "Rio". Oh cool, we think, we haven't heard this in a while.
Only Claw doesn't sing "Rio". She sings "Rio" IN FRENCH. The whole goddam song, IN FRENCH. Now, the lyrics on the screen were not in French. They were in English, as they always are. But she real-time translated like she was the fucking U.N. This morning, Girl-E got an email from Dr. Claw's boyfriend of about three weeks, saying he almost proposed to her on the spot. And really, it would not have been all so outlandish if he had.
Case #2:
Reverend Pete interrupts the normal flow of things to announce there will be a rap competition, the winner receiving a pack of Doublemint. Being the dope MC and gum-lover that she is, Girl-C naturally volunteers. After three contestants aptly perform "Gin and Juice," "Parents Just Don't Understand," and "Baby Got Back," Girl-C steps demurely to the mic for Princess Superstar's "Bad Babysitter" (but not until after Girl-E grabs a broom from the wait station and sweeps the stage in front of the mic, as do Princess Superstar's actual handlers). Being a serious student of the art of rhymes, particularly those of blonde Jewish females such as P.S., Girl-C simply fucking owns it. And who do you think won that gum with overwhelming audience agreement? No really, who?
Anyway, everyone's got their own idea of cool. And perhaps this is not yours. But did we mention the FRENCH?
Posted by The Twins at June 16, 2004 01:42 PM
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Comments
Dr Claw kicks copious amounts of ass... as do girls-E and C. (!)
sounds like much fun was had by all.
:-)
Posted by: snowy at June 18, 2004 12:47 PM
What is this place?
Can I watch?
I like to watch.
Posted by: JJ at June 19, 2004 10:28 PM
Has "Rio" been recorded in French? That would kick ass.
Posted by: srah at June 22, 2004 11:15 AM