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September 29, 2004
It's been a while since we've bitched about the weather
Sorry for the delay.
Now that hot and humid seems to have gone the way of Atkins fever, the good mother has decided to throw down a shitstorm of leftovers from someone else's hurricane, and didn't remind us to bring a sweater. It's one of those dreary days where the only thing anyone should be doing is lying on a couch watching DVDs and drinking mulled wine. The very thought of putting on fitted clothing is revolting, so Girl-E left the house this morning dressed like a hobo. Ponytail, no makeup, everything in her closet that's too big (which isn't much, and certainly doesn't match).
We hope that the candidates will address this weather issue in the first presidential debate tomorrow. Kerry hasn't done much for the situation in Massachusetts as a senator, so it will be interesting to see what new strategies he has for the nation as a whole. We're thinking along the lines of a progressive sunshine tax, which imposes the least burden on Presque Isle, Maine and increases as you move southwest, with San Diego additionally responsible for cool ocean breeze. Hawaii and Alaska will have a number of self-employment write-offs, and there will be a standard deduction for average annual rainfall. As with monetary taxes, the IRS will deliver refunds of beautiful days between late April and early May. If you request an extention until mid-August, you will pay a penalty of enduring at least a week of nasty-ass humidity.
This could work.
Posted by The Twins at September 29, 2004 11:49 AM
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Comments
extension. (I felt compelled, and couldn't control it.)
Posted by: Yo Mama at September 29, 2004 03:31 PM
Mo-om! (rolls eyes)
;)
Posted by: EV at September 29, 2004 03:34 PM
Actually, I believe EV's using the correct spelling in this instance. The IRS refers to a lengthening of deadlines as an "extenTion" rather than an "extenSion" - as it is named after Mario Extentione (pronounced Ex-Tent-ee-OWN-ee) the famed corporate auditor who first came up with the idea of using the IRS's appeals process and deadline flexibility in order to keep funds in high-interest-yielding accounts for an additional 3-4 months, giving some companies bonuses of tens of thousands of dollars.
Posted by: Jeff at September 30, 2004 10:08 AM
Thanks Jeff. I was too lazy to explain it to her.
Posted by: EV at September 30, 2004 10:11 AM
Not to be confused with his less reputable cousin, Mario Extortione.
Posted by: Jess at September 30, 2004 08:18 PM