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July 29, 2004
A series of one-acts
Girl-E's friend: I had a dream about you last night.
Girl-E: Oh yeah, what about?
F: You worked at a lumberyard.
E: What was I doing there?
F: You were the music director.
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We were hoping to give you all a riveting account of Girl-E's experience volunteering for the DNC this week, but it turns out her exciting assignment at the Aquarium was mindnumbingly dull. She sat at a table in front of the Aquarium staring at her fingernails while no more than about 3.5 tourists in her entire 12 hours asked any questions whatsoever. And she did that with four other volunteers on each shift. There was some excitement when the Congressional Black Caucus had mis-printed a party invitation which incorrectly sent guests to the Aquarium dock instead of Rowes Wharf, causing much panic and running in heels, but that was about it. She did however save a little old Asian woman from taking the long subway ride out to Wonderland, which the woman assumed was a fun amusement park but which is actually a dog track. So she did her part for democracy, or something.
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Have you ever had a day where you realize you've gone to two CVSes and a Walgreen's and ended up with at least one new long-last lipstick from each? No?
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When Girl-E tells people she's a speechwriter, they often think it sounds glamorous. It is actually about as glamorous as long-last lipsticks from Walgreen's. Anyone know of any open lumberyard music director positions?
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Next Tuesday is Reverend Pete's last day as karaoke host before he moves to NY. For his last two shows, he recruited the Nickel and Dime Band (aka Are you there God it's me Wesley Snipes, aka Tommy Tattletale and the Centre Street Shakedown) for live band karaoke. We can't really describe this experience except to say that until you have heard a band successfully improvise AC/DC as country, you have not fully lived.
Posted by The Twins at July 29, 2004 10:41 AM
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Comments
1) What kind of music does a lumberyard play? And what kind of drugs is your friend on?
2) The aquarium is the apex of democracy. Always.
3) Not specifically, but I've done that with supermarkets and guavas. I love guavas.
4) No.
4a) I love guavas.
5) I have not heard that, and yet I have lived. Explain that!
Posted by: Jeff at July 29, 2004 12:19 PM