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June 08, 2004

Commence with the commencing

Thursday is Commencement at the institution where Girl-E works, and tents are being pitched all around. So to speak. The campus is overflowing with flip flops and academic regalia, usually both at the same time. After Thursday, it will be officially summer, which means that Girl-E can spend a little less time working and more time visiting with all of you.*

Being the speechwriter for her particular muckity-muck, Girl-E is obviously somewhat occupied during this time of the year. She is charged with taking her boss's stream of consciousness thoughts about the meaning of life and turning them into a coherent address. Problem is, Girl-E herself has been operating solely on stream of consciousness lately, so this is a special challenge. As a result, her first draft looked a little something like this:

"Good afternoon, I am delighted to celebrate this day with graduates, families, and friends. You should be very proud of what you've accomplished this year, because there have been many challenges and damn I'm hungry. You are leaving here during a time of national, international, magical, mythical, fantastical, local yokle oklie-doklie strife and damn if I know what to do about it, shit. All of us up here on this stage which is like totally about to collapse under the weight of the faculty if you know what I'm saying know you will be moving on up, to the East Side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. And remember, when you're there, beans don't burn in the kitchen. The field to which you have dedicated your life is noble, and honestly really fucking frustrating what the hell is that noise? I am so full of pride for you, not to mention bloated, jesus. I look forward to seeing the amazing things you will do, and also the new Harry Potter movie which I hear is better than the first two, and isn't Emma Thompson awesome? Congratulations, may the force be with you, and also with you, and fuck I am really hungry."

Etc.

*We jest, of course. She could not possibly spend more time visiting all of you, unless she had that time-twisting thing that Hermione has.

Posted by The Twins at June 8, 2004 01:16 PM

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Comments

ha! i loved this post. it is so totally a peek into my own brain. :-)

Posted by: snowy at June 8, 2004 01:24 PM

this made me laugh out loud. (but oooooh....movie spoiler.....)

Posted by: nikita at June 9, 2004 10:41 AM

How is that a movie spoiler? Emma Thompson as Trelawny is not, like, a secret or anything. Oh. Right. Hermione. Well who the fuck doesn't know that anyway?

Posted by: EV at June 9, 2004 10:44 AM

Besides Bryan I mean.

(sorry)

Posted by: EV at June 9, 2004 10:47 AM

Wait, Bryan already saw the movie. Jeebus I'm a twit these days.

Posted by: EV at June 9, 2004 01:09 PM