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May 16, 2004
Red and white and sa-weet all over
From 1992 to 1994, Girl-E worked her first real job. She doesn't count running the Little League snack bar before that because her friend's parents owned it and personal merit was not involved (except for the fact that, as a precocious twit, she was universally loved and trusted by all friends' parents). But shortly after she got her driver's license junior year, she filled out an actual job application and had an actual job interview with a stranger and earned her ticket to financial independence (meaning she could take out $10 at a time from her own bank account for a sandwich) -- in the form of the bright shiny red vest of the Target cashier.
Her adventures over those two years were countless and epic. Like the time Jenny Craig came through her line. Or the time her crush came through her line and she got up the nerve to tell him to call her (the nerve undoubtedly came from the vest), and he actually did. Or the time her friend Mike's little brother came through her line with a box of ankle weights, and it turned out he was actually stealing many packs of baseball cards (many packs are actually quite heavy-- that kid was clever). Or the countless times that she spent her 30 minute break speeding her 1985 VW Golf to the beach where all her friends were (in her Target uniform), watched two points of volleyball and sped back to punch back in.
In general, though, the job SUCKED PUPPIES. Really. Worst job ever. She has not been to a store of that genre since where she hasn't wanted to slip the cashier a twenty for his/her troubles. We won't go into why the job sucks-- you've shopped before, you know. The wrong prices in the computer, not enough nickles, too many total freaking assholes. But there was one thing that gave the job an extra special something, something she would not have been able to do in any other job-- she could constantly shop at Target.
Despite the pain and suffering of working there, Target is the dopest store ever. Just enough classier than K-Mart, just enough less evil than Wal-Mart. There is nothing that cannot be obtained, and some of it is even cute. One of the most disappointing elements of the East Coast when she left California was the total lack of Targets. Bradlee's really just does not cut it. However, the Eastern Seaboard has recently come into the modern world of discount shopping and Targets are popping up all over. And today, after four years in New Jersey and six years in Massachusetts, she made her first pilgrimage. We don't need to present her itemized receipt, but let's just say she came home with selections from departments including hardware, health & beauty, intimate apparel, bath & bed, pharmacy, kitchen compliments, and housewares. All for $102. Tampons and a screwdriver in one shopping bag. The place is a utopia of belongings. Truly divine.
Now, if you'll excuse us, it appears she is about to do something enterprising with her new pushpins. Happy Sunday.
Posted by The Twins at May 16, 2004 03:50 PM
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Comments
ha, i can NOT walk out of Target empty handed. whether or not i think i need something, the place has every damn thing you can think of and there's always something i gotta have. so i avoid the place unless i've got some mula to spend.
Posted by: kat at May 16, 2004 05:10 PM
Wait until you see Ikea.
Posted by: Roger at May 16, 2004 05:36 PM
just, uh, make sure you don't get the two items in that bag, uh, confused.
Posted by: bryan at May 16, 2004 08:54 PM
I had a part-time job there a couple of years ago to make some extra cash and I found that the ability to shop there constantly (And at a 10% discount even!) made up for most of the assholes.
Posted by: She-Dork at May 17, 2004 09:42 AM
Still, you can't buy booze there so the liquor/hardware store in Jamestown, RI has one up on it. Get a hammer and a bottle of scotch in the same shopping bag. Everything you need for a lazy summer afternoon......
Posted by: Robbie at May 17, 2004 12:08 PM
Didja go to Everett or Woburn? Please no, not Watertown, because to me, a Target that isn't a Target Greatland is just a KMart. It just is.
Posted by: JJ at May 17, 2004 05:30 PM
I hate to say it, it was Watertown. However, I will give the defense that back in my day, Target Greatland did not exist-- now they have one in my hometown, and it was truly frightening. But awesome. Anyway, Watertown definitely gave me my fix none the less.
Posted by: EV at May 17, 2004 05:38 PM