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January 26, 2004
No more monkeys jumping on the bed
Girl-E has a thing for remedies. She has an astonishing intolerance for discomfort of any kind, and an unfailing optimism that there exists somewhere a cure for any ill. If someone suggests that some certain vitamin supplement or ointment is good for something or other, she rushes right out so she doesn't miss out on a single day of potential improvement. As a result, her OTC inventory could serve as a Walgreen's branch.
It doesn't stop at aches and pains, though-- she is almost equally susceptible to promises cosmetic in nature. She is a one-woman justification for investment in inspired packaging designers and marketing staff. And while she does draw a line at animal testing, feel free to use all the chemicals and synthetic ingredients you want. If a man-made compound will do a better job than green tea and grapefruit extract, then you just spend as much time in the lab as you need. While she will be the first to admit that something doesn't work as promised, she figures that if it says it will do something, there is at least a 15 percent chance that it will, which is good enough for her to give it a try.
About an hour ago, it struck her that she could not take another bloody minute of her skeksy-like winter skin or the four canker sores setting up camp on her tongue, so she dashed out to the wide world of feel-good offerings. Five Origins products and a CVS sweep later, she is convinced that tomorrow will be a new hydrated and pain-free day. Since it may take until tomorrow for the feeling in her face to return after exploding the tube of Orajel.
Posted by The Twins at January 26, 2004 03:05 PM
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Comments
Remember when we used to eat those great big Vitamin C tablets? I used to eat them until the inside of my mouth turned completely puckery.
Freshman year of college: consuming only beer, living in ant-infested swill, but at least we had our Vitamin C.
Posted by: Jess at January 26, 2004 03:53 PM
exploding tubes of orajel? woah. i had a tube of hair goo explode all over my bathroom last week.
must be contagious.
Posted by: snowy at January 26, 2004 05:33 PM