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December 04, 2003
Dear asshole,
Yes, you, the cocksucker who broke into Girl-E's inlaws' house and stole all of The Dude's mom's jewelry. All of it. From her whole life. Just dumped it in a duffle bag and scurried off.
WE HOPE YOU CRASH YOUR CAR AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND DUMPS YOU AND YOU GET HERPES AND YOU GET FIRED FROM YOUR SHITTY-ASS JOB AND YOUR LANDLORD EVICTS YOU AND YOU LOSE A BAR FIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND WHO YOU WANT TO GET WITH AND YOUR MOM FORGETS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND THE HOOKER TURNS OUT TO BE A DUDE.
Merry fucking Christmas,
Leto & Roz
Posted by The Twins at December 4, 2003 08:51 PM
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Comments
p.s. i also hope a thousand fleas infest your tighty-whities. the end.
Posted by: kat at December 4, 2003 10:24 PM
I'm so sorry. That's awful.
Posted by: Jess at December 4, 2003 11:45 PM
I'm very sorry. And right before Christmas. I hope they find the asshole.
Posted by: erika at December 5, 2003 09:39 AM
Oh, man, that sucks. I hope they can recover some of it! Best wishes to the Dude's mom.
Posted by: Hilatron at December 5, 2003 01:38 PM
Vicious, but not quite vicious enough for an asshole of that caliber.
Posted by: jules at December 5, 2003 04:27 PM
Y'all hope that asshat's life becomes a country-music record, in other words.
We're down with that.
Posted by: Lex at December 8, 2003 03:29 PM