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August 27, 2003
Look out, Jennifer Garner
So, there wasn't much thought put into the term "ruthless ninja" at the writing of yesterday's post, just spontaneous gut assessment of that particular hour and fifteen minutes of hurt.
But now that we look at it, all we can think about is writing a TV show called "Helen Dobson, R.N.", about a 34-year-old triage nurse who takes to the streets at night to fight evil. Her costume change would require minimum effects-- she'd just reach into her pocket for her ninja mask made of the same material as her salmon-pink surgical scrubs, and her tongue depressors would unfold into nunshucks.
Helen's sidekick Candy would wear a red-and-white-striped karate outfit, and she'd have a complicated and occassionally steamy relationship with a neurologist named Dr. Nick Katzenbaum. Her nemesis would be a beautiful and wicked woman called HazMatilda, who'd lurk around the city causing mysterious outbreaks of shingles and yeast infections, and the occassional disfiguring accident during Sweeps Week.
Primary sponsors would be Monistat, the Venus Razor, and Mattel. Now we just have to think about casting.
p.s. Comments seem to be down. Drat!
Posted by The Twins at August 27, 2003 11:28 AM
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